The emotional toll of being an emphatic health care provider.

My day didn't start well from the beginning. I got an upsetting email from a therapist I don't respect. I don't respect him because he is another traveling therapist and in my one and only conversation with him he said "There is no loyalty with traveling therapists, we aren't good people, we only do it for the money". It made me sick. It made me want to reach through my cellular device and take his PT license and then sucker punch him in the face. I don't do this for the money (though I am grateful for the 'raise'). I am a therapist to improve people's lives. I travel because adventure and travel are the deepest desires of my heart, and I have been blessed enough, and worked hard enough, to combine these two passions.

But back to the email... it is in a reference to one of his patient's I will be seeing. The patient is a survivor of a massive stroke, who was working full time prior to the stroke and has much of his life ahead of him. The therapist wrote: "He doesn't understand that his left upper extremity function will not improve". WRONG. It was improving, it can continue to improve and how dare you smash this man's hope?!?! He survived a stroke, is tough as nails (he literally built his entire house himself, nail by nail, zero outside help) and there is no reason he can't continue to improve.

Next, I find out one of my patients has requested another therapist. Ouch. I think it's the third time in my career I have gotten this request so directly.  She is angry I had her walk outside last week. I had her walk outside because on one Day 1 of therapy,  her daughter made it quite clear they all wanted her to be able to walk in the yard again. I tucked that little nugget of information in my brain, and once this woman was strong enough to give it a go, we did, and it was glorious (or so I thought...). I also don't speak fantastic Spanish, and although she speaks fluent English, this frustrates her to no end. Well, my dear patient.... I drive over 50 miles to treat you & help you get better, I will always give 100% of what I've got, and I am the ONLY therapist in your city, so take it or leave it.

My next patient's spouse hands me a card. It is one of those hand written notes that brings tears to my eyes and yet makes me wonder how I can touch one life so positively and yet the above patient wants me out her life forever. Here is the card, so I may never forget it:

After working 9 hours already and driving a total of 193 miles today, I arrive at my last patient's house. I have never met this woman or her husband before in my life. As I am trying to leave and get home to my dog, my couch and my sanity, her husband stops me and starts showing me his medals and pictures from WWII. The least I can do for this man who served our country is sit for 5 minutes and go over some memories with him. Things took a drastic and horrifying turn when the pictures were suddenly of dead bodies and men he had killed during war. I have NEVER been so caught off guard and speechless. I couldn't turn away, not even when he began to tell me how they killed the men. WTF, sir, WTF. 

I can't even stomach going duck hunting because it breaks my heart and makes me too sad. Those images are now engraved in my memory and I'm praying they don't appear as night terrors. 

So there we go. 10 hours, 200 miles and a day that I couldn't be more happy to bid adieu to. 

I am tired, I am sad, I am frustrated, I am angry... yet I sit here holding that hand written card to remind me why I do this, day in and day out. 

Please love on your healthcare workers, it isn't an easy job, and most of us really don't do it for the money (which goes straight to pay off our student loans anyhow). 

xo

Scotchman's Peak Day Hike

While I was living in Idaho last spring, I took one of the most amazing hikes I have ever been on. It was highly recommended so I piggy backed onto my friend Monica's trip for the day.

We were warned that this was a very intense hike, and it was 7-8 miles out and back (depending on who we asked and the website we looked at). The hike was to Scotchman's Peak and near Clark Fork, Idaho. It also raises 3,700 feet in elevation in those first four miles... There were a few blogs and websites that listed this hike as "moderate", and maybe it is in comparison to Mt. Everest. Otherwise, this hike required me to dig deeper than I had in a long while! I have done some hard day hikes, and I am in pretty good shape, but at 1.5 miles into this hike as we climbed in elevation, I literally thought "I'm not sure I can do this for 2 more miles..." But I did, and it was worth it (as always, right?)

First pointer if you are ever interested in doing this hike: Follow the directions you find online (I can try to find the directions we used and post them here in the future....sometime) and just KEEP DRIVING. The trail head was a lot further than I thought it would! And actually, when we went in Spring, we had one water crossing we couldn't safely drive over, so had about 1/4 mile walk to get to the trail head, and it was not very well marked like I had hoped.

Second pointer, this hike is not accessible during the winter months with heavy snowfall! Don't be a hero, wait til the thaw comes.

For our hike, we started off without any snow, and a couple miles in we had to literally climb on our hands and knees through ice/snow up steep parts (while trying to stay somewhat near the actual trail). So next pointer: dress in layers. Between working up a sweat, climbing in elevation and the light rain fall we had, we were constantly stopping to adjust.

As we got to the peak, we were blown away by the views we got to share together.

But, our FAVORITE part of reaching the summit...was when the mountain goats came to greet us and hang out. It was incredible and the perfect completion of our hike to Scotchman's Peak!

I hope you get to enjoy the sights, muscle burn, smiles and beauty that is Scothman's Peak.